Sunday, April 6, 2003

I notice that I hate the idea of other people on the plane reading what I write as I type it. Considering that this will — soon enough — be on the web for all the world, odd that I worry that the guy behind me might read this through the cracks between the seats. Whenever one of the flight attendants comes past, I quick “Apple-H” hide this window. Like just a second ago. Twice. (Once for the flight attendant. Once for my mom.)

Anyway. We’re on a small plane — not puddle-jumper small, but five-seats-across small. (Insert: Every time the plane lurches a neuron fires in my brain saying, “That’s it — your Airport card has finally interfered with the workings of the plane and now we’re all going to die.”) The seat next to me is empty. At first, a Businessman sat beside me, making calls on his cellphone and hauling around a few books, including How to Cold Call, by America’s #1 Business Techniques Trainer. I capitalize Businessman because that’s what I call people who Do Business, but don’t seem to have any particular area of expertise. Besides their hair. They always have very well-groomed hair. And crisp white collared shirts and spiffy ties. Like this gentleman who sat next to me for the first five minutes. Before the plane took off he cupped his hand over the bottom of his cellphone in conversation, mumbled something he must have wanted me not to hear (transmitting cold calling secrets to associates in Miami is my guess), before mentioning going to “check out the cockpit” and, in the process of doing that, finding an empty row of seats which I guess he claimed as his own. Anyway, if I got anything from the tech boom, I got a sore distaste for Businessmen. My philosophy on the matter is you bring a skill or area of expertise to the table and the business element naturally grows around you. Books with titles like How to Cold Call naturally worry me. (Extreme turbulence. Yuk.) Especially since I used to cold call looking for web dev clients (during a brief period of my life), and not only did it not work especially well, but I felt somewhat intrusive and incredibly amateur. Organizations tend to know what they want in advance (it would seem to me), and thus cold-callers are at a bit of a disadvantage. If the service you offer is needed, whomever you contact would presumable already be taking care of the matter. My experience, anyway, was that anyone I contacted who seemed to need a web presence already had someone else either more experienced or closer to them (friends, relatives) taking care of the matter.

Anyway. I digress.

Everyone else aboard this flight has behaved themselves smashingly and I completely approve not only of their dress and behavior but of their friends, hobbies, and means of making a living.

Sitting in cool judgment over here in seat 9A…

Time to land.